you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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