She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
