My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
