discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
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