called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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