im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
