you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
