Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
