Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
