I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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