No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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