Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Alive.
So much puke
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
