She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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