I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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