Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
