1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
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