After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
