PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize