the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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