wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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