WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
