my sisters under your porch take her home
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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