Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
