the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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