Banned from zoo.
Again?
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
