so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize