ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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