It's just like the Real World with babies
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
