This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
