No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
