I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize