Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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