My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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