i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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