He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
