Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Pappa wants mamma naked
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
