Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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