There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
