i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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