So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize