the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
