he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
