Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize