we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize