Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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