at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
