there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
