Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
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