Betty ford says i'm here all night
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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