Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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