Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
