Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
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