So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
