In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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