I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I need a beard to bite.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
