I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
