the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
