You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
