exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
