i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
