I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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